Anger

Anger can be normal and healthy emotion that helps us instinctively detect and respond to a threatening situation. More than this, when it is properly channeled, it can be a powerful motivating force. However it can also be an emotion that gets out of control, leading to stress, distress, unhealthiness and unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can seriously harm your personal and professional life, because it can become incredibly destructive – to yourself and the people around you. 

Some useful Tips to handle Anger

·         Slow things down - count to ten; devise strategies to slow things down. As your pace slows down try to visualize a relaxing or pleasant experience - take your mind there. 

·         Express your anger - make sure you do this when you have calmed down. Do this in an assertive non-aggressive way. 

·         Exercise regularly - If you exercise regularly not only will your body better regulate your adrenaline and cortisol levels, but as you become fitter you well have better levels of endorphins - natural feel-good hormones. You will also sleep better; a crucial factor for good mental health. 

·         Plan what you want to say - if something is bothering you, remember that you are more likely to get sidetracked when discussing an issue if you are angry. Taking notes before the conversation may help you steer the course of the conversation. 

·         Focus on the solution, not just the problem - it is fine and useful to identify what made you angry. However, it is much more important to focus on ways to resolve the problem.

·         The word "I" is more constructive than the word "You" - when giving praise, the word "You" is great. However, when you are angry or resentful the word "I" tends to achieve better results. For example: 

·         Don't hold on to resentment - holding a grudge against somebody can only fuel your anger and make it harder to control it. It is important to be realistic and accept that people are the way they are, rather than how you want them to be. 

·         Humor -. Good humor can sometimes dissolve anger and resentment faster than anything else. Humor is a fantastic weapon and also a gift. Even if it means just laughing - as long as there is no risk of misinterpretation - your mood can change for the better rapidly. 

·         Timing - if you and your partner find your evening discussions tend to turn into rows, possibly because you or both of you are tired or distracted, change the times when you talk about important matters. In some cases the fights at that time of day initially started because you were tired or distracted, and over time simply became a habit. 

·         Proper breathing - just as anger can increase your breathing and heart rates and tenses up your muscles, you can learn to reverse this by deliberately slowing your breathing and systematically relaxing and loosening your muscles.

·         As soon as you feel those shallow rapid breaths coming on, which tend to aggravate anger, take action to redirect your breathing. If you can, spend 15 minutes focusing on relaxation - it can work wonders.

o    Take several slow and long deep breaths in a row.

o    Spend twice as long exhaling as inhaling.

o    Count slowly to four as you inhale.

o    Then breathe out slowly as you count to eight.

o    Make each breath deep and slow, and focus on where the air is going.

o    Your inhalation should start from your belly, then your lower chest, and finally your upper chest. Feel your ribs open up when you fill your lungs.

o    When you slowly exhale feel your ribs coming back to the original positions - exhale completely.

If at any time you feel odd or slightly dizzy go back to normal breathing for a couple of minutes.

Sleep - try to get at least 7 hours good quality sleep every night. Sleep is crucial for good mental and physical health. Sleep deprivation has been linked in many studies to mental, physical and emotional health problems - including anger.